Monday, October 25, 2010

Sorry for the random leavingness

The internet has been cutting out every minute or two making it next to impossible to post anything. Hopefulyl it has fucking stopped so I can do this shit again.

Some things you have missed: more thermostat wars. I won of course. Lots of parties, beer, hookah, weed, and chicks. Always a fun time. I have been avoiding dorm at all costs, so issues are few and far between. Still fucking hate them.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Kind of different that my usual stuff....butttt..

You guys may or may not have heard about the shooting at UT earlier yesterday. Well, yes. There was some dumbass with an AK47 that shot up the place, but his aim was such shit he missed everyone but himself. Anyway, me being a (proud) Texan, I know lots of people who are going there. Yes, some saw. Pretty shaken up by it. Others didn't. Anyway, really just saying that I am quite glad that nobody was hurt physically. And the hell did he get into the Library with an a suit and mask...without being noticed?! And I thought my roommates were stupid!

Also, do ALL girls go take a dump/piss while talking on the god damn phone!? Gwen does it quite often...

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I think I am going to melt...(*edit*Now with asses!)

Thermostat read 95*
Ninety. Fucking. Five. Degrees.
Do you KNOW how HOT it is in Texas weather to walk into a dorm hoping to cool down and relax only to start melting to the fucking bed? Not fun. I swear. Nigger and Sara are going to go down. 9 o'clock every night, the bitches start screaming. Doors slam, ground rumbles under Nigger's fat ass...Oh look at the time. Nine o Clock. Yup. I hear them running down the hall.

Here we fucking go. Door just slammed. Giggling and laughing and yelling.
Sounds like they just saw the thermostat at 70* (Which is a decent fucking temperature.)
Fucking bitches. Someone just turned it up. You can smell it. Terrible smell. I am about to start melting. Here we fucking go.

This is for Troy who had a request for some asses.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Snowcones and Weedwackers

So I come back from class to see sitting on top of the fridge, to my surprise, a fucking snow cone maker. And this fucker is loud. Louder than Nigger. You get the lovely sound of a blade against ice and the scent of the machine parts whirring together at high speeds. Yes, it has a smell. It is not a pretty smell either. Gwen bought the nasty fucking syrups too. Fucking banana and  (cough syrup) grape. It smells disgusting. And she eats about 2 a day. Why? I don't fucking know.

Sara was a dumb ass. See, some reason she fucked herself up so much she left an ounce of low quality weed sitting out on the table. Well, me being the lovely ass I am, decided to take it and sell it. But oh wait! I would need to replace it so she wouldn't notice. Thankfully she is such a dumb bitch and the workers had recently cut the grass outside, I was able to replace it. She has yet to notice. Fucking retard even smoked some this morning. Oh Em Gee she was so like, hiiiiiigh!!!1!!!one!!111!!1 *face palm* dumb bitch.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Welcome to my Life, bitches.

Hello world. This is The General Ass, or Foxtrot as some may know me as. Well, I'm here today to start blogging. I have no censor. This blog is where I will complain and plot and be the asshole I am. I hope you enjoy reading about the average dull life of an ass.

For starters I will tell you about myself. I am a Sophomore in college living in co-ed dorms. My roommate is a whiny immature bitch, and the suitmates love to yell and party all night. I am the only man in this group. Why they did it like this I do not know. I hate it though. I mean, A man among loud, disgusting girls. All have been deemed unfuckables. I always thought men were pretty bad in the bathroom, pissing all over. But no. Women are terrible. They bleed every month, leaving all their shit out for people to see and smell. Fucking blood on the toilets. I do not want that. We have one sink. Full of their dirty dishes. Aren't women supposed to be cleaning them? Guess not. Lets give these roommates some names.

First off, the bitch I share a room with. I'll call her Gwen. She is about 250lbs with a mustache. Her hair is badly dyed a piss blonde and short beyond belief. If it wernt for the saggers on her chest, I would have thought her a man.

Now there are two girls in the other room. I'll call them Nigger and Sara.
Nigger is loud. Nigger is black. Nigger is bipolar and will not take her meds; she sells them instead. She likes to use the kitchen (like a good woman should) but she makes fried chicken every week. And that shit is nasty.
Sara is a skinny bitch. She is the most tolerable of them all, but she quite enjoys playing with the A/C. Her perfect temperature is 85*......bitch have you been outside? It is 95* out...I would love to come inside to a nice place to cool off. But no. Got to come in and sweat some more. Sara is also loud. Nigger and Sara love to yell when they talk. Until about 2 in the morning. They have their nigger friends over all the time and blast their rap music. The neighbors love to put notes on our door complaining about the noise.

There is one person living next door to me who I have become quite good friends with. I'll call him Joe. Joe is the lucky bastard. His roommates consist of another dude, a decently hot chick, and an average chick who knows how to cook, but she is a deaf bitch so nobody really talks to her, but damn bitch always tries to talk to us. I have applied many times to switch rooms. They don't care. I'm stuck with 3 of the most disgusting, noisy, terrible bitches on the whole entire campus. How do I deal? There is a reason I am called The General Ass. And here is where it will all begin. Enjoy you little fucks.